


Your Life Is  A Rainbow And I'm Not A  Color

by GaHoolianGirl



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, I left Rin's soulmate vague on purpose, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, it can be any of the other characters you want, you can ignore a fee lines and pretend it's an animal if you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3803422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Sousuke, grass was grey, the sky was light grey, and blood was black. He had long ago decided that a soulmate was not a consideration in his life. It wasn't from loneliness, or bitterness, or total disinterest.</p><p>It was that Rin Matsuoka already had a soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Life Is  A Rainbow And I'm Not A  Color

**Author's Note:**

> This is obviously based on the AU where you see color when you met your soulmate. Sousuke is already tragic so why not make my baby even sadder?

Sousuke doesn't see the world in color.

Life is a variety of greys and blacks, differentiated by lighting, shade, and various other factors. He's convinced that if his whole world suddenly was full of color, he wouldn't see it in such vivid detail as he does in their monochrome world. He likes to muse that because most people live their whole lives without color, that if the magical enigma that were hues were suddenly visible, everything would be gaudy and conflicting, or drab and flat.

To him, and most others, colors are just words. Green, blue, red, all just a series of letter without a solid association, like attempting to read a language you don't understand. According to the few lucky souls who could see the mythical rainbow, grass was green, the sky was blue, and blood was red.

To him, grass was grey, the sky was light grey, and blood was black. He had long ago decided that a soulmate was not a consideration in his life. It wasn't from loneliness, or bitterness, or total disinterest.

It was that Rin Matsuoka already had a soulmate.

When Rin came to him, blubbering and crying, saying "Sousuke everything's so bright...nothing's grey anymore!" Sousuke's mind shattered, and though he only really saw light grey tears rolling down Rin's faces, he was seeing red. He grit his teeth and smiled, recalling memories from when he hurt his shoulder. Searing, blistering pain, like his muscles were being pulled apart and shredded. His heart was sinking deeper and became heavier and heavier like a lead weight dropped from an airplane, except now they were amplified by a thousand.

Rin. His Rin. His crybaby, romantic, Olympic swimmer who he had watched grow from a young boy into a champion. He remembered the pact they made at a young age, that if they didn't find their soulmate by 26, they would marry each other. They knew it couldn't happen in Japan, but it was a promise nonetheless.

Even after he told him that his soulmate was platonic, that he didn't love them romantically, Sousuke's heart didn't magically lift. That person stole away his position, the one most important to Rin. Soulmates were coveted in their society. They were destined to be by your side. Your soulmate could be a lover, a sibling, a teacher, your friend, your dog. But they were your other half.

That was exactly what Rin had called Sousuke the day before he found out.

When he went home that night (a warm, July evening where the lighting bugs glowed their empty grey hues. Sousuke had never felt more cold in his life), he cried, for the first time in God knows how long. He suddenly desperately wished he knew what color Rin's hair was. His eyes. His clothes. His embarrassed face. His skin. Rin. He wanted to know what Rin looked liked. What words he could describe him with.

Was his hair blue, like the sky? Green, like the grass? Or red, like blood?

All things Sousuke wouldn't know. But someone else, not him, knew. Someone who couldn't love Rin like he did, knew. Could say, "You have such pretty brown hair, Rin," or "Your yellow eyes are delightful."

He wiped his tears, tears he swore to Rin he'd never shed again. He texted Rin, asking him to say what color hair Sousuke had. _What color would your face be if I kissed you? If I held you close?_

Black, Rin told him. His hair was black. Of all the mystical imaginary colors, his hair was one he could already see.

The next time he saw Rin, he asked about his eyes. He said teal.

_What's teal?_

_The color of the ocean._

He asked about Rin's eyes and hair.

_My hair? Magenta._

_You're making that up._

_For real!_

_Finnnee...Your eyes?_

_Red._

_Like blood?_

_A laugh. Is that your only comparison for red? Lots of stuff is red!_

Lots of things are red, in the world according to Rin. Despite his pain, Sousuke could think of no one else who deserved a soulmate as much as Rin. He was so vibrant in a grayscale world, he must shine like the yellow sun Sousuke now hears so much about in the colorful one.

Sousuke likes to think that Rin turns pink, a supposedly very pretty color, when Sousuke kisses him that day. He's in the middle of describing the color of a piece of toast for the third time when Sousuke steals his toast and a kiss. He also likes to think that Rin was blood red when Rin leaned over and kissed Sousuke back.

Rin told his soulmate about being with Sousuke. They gave their full support, considering they had been in a relationship for awhile. They and Rin met through swimming. They both nearly drowned when the surrounding water suddenly burst in the color they called "blue" (different than the sky, Rin told him). Afterwards, they laughed and cried together, and Sousuke wished he was there. To see Rin's joy when his world expanded, his elation at getting the privilege so few had.

When they're together, Rin sometimes still describes colors to him.

_Think of them as...visual feelings!_

_Huh?_

_Like...blue is water. Cool, natural. Blue is shiny, and slick. Or green is leaves on a tree. Organic, calm. Red is...not  agree with you, or anything..._

_You're such a sap, Sousuke gently nudges his calf in a very Rin-like gesture, making him laugh,_

_Red is blood. Bright and angry, but also dark and calming. Smooth, but deadly._

_You're definitely red, Rin._

_I told you my hair's magenta!_

Sousuke doesn't need a soulmate to survive. Most people don't. Most people die without, never understanding the world of pigment like Rin does. It hurts, on occasion, that him and Rin are farther apart than his shoulder put them, they live in separate worlds, that Rin has a guaranteed lifelong companion that isn't him. But sometimes, because of Rin's detailed and loving descriptions of the world, he can sometimes see the mysterious "magenta" in Rin's hair.

But Sousuke knows that he doesn't colors to call Rin beautiful.•

**Author's Note:**

> I am actually really proud of this so I hope you like it!


End file.
